Standing Together Against Bullying: A Call to Kindness and Courage

October is World Bullying Prevention Month, a time when students, schools, and communities across the world unite to raise awareness about bullying and cyberbullying. According to the U.S. Department of Education, bullying is now recognized as a critical school safety issue, and with good reason. Bullying can have long-lasting emotional and psychological effects, often contributing to depression, anxiety, violent behavior, substance use, and even suicidal thoughts among our youth.

Research shows that one out of every five students in the United States reports being bullied. Of those, 13% were made fun of or called names, 13% were the subject of rumors, 5% were physically assaulted, and another 5% were intentionally excluded from activities (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019). Bullying happens in many different places. Forty-three percent of incidents take place in school hallways or stairways, 42% inside classrooms, 27% in cafeterias, and 22% outside on school grounds. Even more concerning, 15% of bullying occurs online or through text messages.

So, what can we do as parents, educators, and community members?

The answer is simple but powerful: learn, act, and lead with kindness.

Learning the Language of Bullying

Education is the first step, and by reading this, you are already taking it. Let’s look at a few key terms that help us understand the roles people play in bullying situations.

Bystander

Anyone who witnesses bullying, either in person or online. Around 80% of bullying incidents happen in front of bystanders. When a bystander steps in, bullying stops within 10 seconds in over half of cases (StopBullying.gov, 2018).

Outsider

A type of bystander who witnesses bullying but chooses not to get involved.

Defender

A bystander who takes action by offering support to the person being bullied or by intervening to stop the behavior.

Many students want to help but feel unsure or afraid. They may worry about retaliation, losing social status, or making things worse. Some simply do not know what to do or believe that adults will not respond effectively (Forsberg et al., 2018; Thornberg et al., 2012).

This is where we come in. It is our job as adults to teach children how to safely intervene, to help them recognize when to get help, and to model compassion and courage ourselves.

Taking Action: Be the Change

Parents and school staff can play a crucial role by teaching moral responsibility and empathy. When children consistently hear that kindness matters, they begin to believe that their choices matter too. Emotional learning should not only happen in the classroom but also in our homes and faith communities.

Here are some ways we can guide children to respond before, during, and after bullying occurs.

Before Bullying Happens (Prevention)

• Be inclusive. Invite others to join games, activities, or social groups. Avoid cliques.

• Model kindness, empathy, and respect. Let children see how you treat others.

During Bullying

• Defend the person being targeted, if it is safe.

• Step in as a group or change the subject to stop the behavior.

• Question what is happening. Sometimes asking “What are you doing?” can stop a situation in its tracks.

After Bullying

• Reach out privately to the person who was bullied. Offer encouragement and let them know they are not alone.

• Report the bullying to a trusted adult, teacher, or school administrator.

Adults can reinforce these behaviors by modeling calm responses, rewarding acts of kindness, and building environments where respect is the norm.

Leading with Love and Light

The most important message we can give our children is this: kindness matters. Every day. Whether at school, on the playground, or online, they have the power to be a light in someone else’s life.

The Bible reminds us, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21, NIV). When we choose to meet cruelty with compassion, we not only protect others, we help transform the culture around us.

So, as this month continues, let’s talk about bullying. Let’s model what it means to stand up for others, to speak truth in love, and to show grace even when it is hard. Together, we can make a difference.

With grace and hope, 

~Jami

Rooted in Christ; helping hearts heal and minds find peace.

Helpful Resources

• StopBullying.gov

• Get Help Now – StopBullying.gov

• Learn Psychology: Bullying Awareness & Prevention

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

  • 1-800-273-8255 (TALK)

  • 1-888-628-9454 (Para Español)

  • 1-800-799-4889 (For Deaf or Hard of Hearing)

References

Forsberg, C., Wood, L., Smith, J., Vorjos, K., Meyers, J., Jungert, T., & Thornberg, R. (2018). Students’ views of factors affecting their bystander behaviors in response to school bullying: A cross‐collaborative conceptual qualitative analysis. Research Papers in Education, 33(1), 127–142.

National Center for Educational Statistics. (2019). Student reports of bullying: Results from the 2017 School Crime Supplement to the National Victimization Survey. U.S. Department of Education.

StopBullying.gov. (2018). Bystander factsheet. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services.

Thornberg, R., Tenenbaum, L., Varjos, K., Meyers, J., Jungert, T., & Vanegas, G. (2012). Bystander motivation in bullying incidents: To intervene or not to intervene? Western Journal of Emergency Medicine, 13(3), 247–252.